| seven days of lonely. |
[Sep. 30th, 2007|12:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  grumpy | ] |
I don't know what's wrong with me. I can't love. I can't do anything right. I am just wandering around aimlessly, not wanting to do anything. I can't even think of an excuse of why I don't like Josh other than just plain boredom and fear. I'm so scared of getting hurt I just prevent myself from coming close.
I need someone who can give me a chase, and yet reassure me that they care. Someone who has time for me, but isn't always available. Honestly, Josh and I have nothing in common. He is atheist and talks about how there's no way god can be real, etc etc. and I just don't know what to say besides "this might be more effective if you tell it to someone who is atheist."
I finally caught up on my sleep. 12 Hours! woo hoo. Deanna blew me off this weekend. Nicci didn't invite me when everyone was hanging out. I have nothing to do so I ca n't give an excuse to not hang out with Josh. I guess it couldn't hurt, but I'm leading him on without really meaning to. I don't know. I don't know. Addie is so lucky, she doesn't even have to try to get perfect guys. They just flock to her. I wish I was pretty enough for that to work for me.
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